As many of you already would know, I turned 36 this past Sunday.
I have always kinda liked that my birthday falls in summertime, because it is pretty much around the middle of the year, and a good time for reflecting on life and whatever thoughts I may have had about things I hoped to do or directions I had hoped to head in at the start of the year… to review what I was thinking about back in January and to evaluate what has become of whatever I had come up with as my New Year’s Resolutions.
Looking back at my list, I didn’t write it out as much as a “to-do list” as has been my norm in the past. I think my list was almost more like a brainstorm of ideas of things that I would like to possibly do or try to make more a part of my life…to make it more of what I could envision as a “happy & healthy” version of my life in its current state and season….
It was also a fleshing out so-to-speak of the themes and lessons I felt like God had been teaching me during the first half of my 35th year of life — now that I had finally become convinced it was not only okay but important to take care of myself… This was what it could look like for me to be taking better care of myself both physically and also in terms of valuing my voice and opinions and heart desires a little bit more, and taking time to invest in letting my creativity and academic/intellectual side play at least some part, however small, in my life.
I wasn’t so much in the mood at that time to tidy up my list and refine it, but at the same time wanted to write something down because I have always–and will always–believe in the power of taking time to write down goals, or things goals-like as in this case. (This article does a pretty good job articulating my thoughts on this topic: 5 reasons you should commit your goals to writing .)
Interestingly, if you ignore all the “dates” and the “schedule” words like “daily” or “once a week” or “everyday, etc. etc., I feel like my list was actually a pretty good prediction of things that did come up in some shape or form, or that I dabbled in here and there so far this year.
Body-care I think came up more earlier in the year, and while I have not been so consistent with exercise or taking my vitamins since then (but am now again reminded =)!), I am happy to say that I have made drinking water a much more regular part of my daily routine. I was struggling with it a bit not that long ago, but decided to invest in one of those large Starbucks straw cups that my friends have been using for awhile now for water and/or their green smoothies, and that seems to have done the trick for me.
As for Beauty-care, I am definitely not there in terms of daily lotion application or weekly face masks… or even making any kind of plan for my wardrobe (which I really hope to begin by first figuring out how to de-clutter my closet…), but I am more mindful of taking care of myself and my appearance–and enjoying the process of doing it –much much more regularly than before. Also, while I didn’t get a spring or summer make-over (which I hope one day to build somehow into this website…when there’s a separate section for the ladies perhaps?), but the one that I got for my husband’s work Christmas party last December was my first make-up makeover ever =) so, maybe at the very least this could become an annual December thing? Also, I did get a surprise early birthday present of eyelash extensions last month in time for my sister’s wedding — one of the perks of having an awesome make-up / lash extension artist as a good friend — so maybe I will let that count =)
As for reading, I have been doing more of that (although not in any sort of regular, organized fashion yet). With writing, I have been writing a bit more here, as well as starting bi-weekly articles for my parents’ friend’s Chinese community paper in my hometown.
With music, I went through that month or two where listening to music and singing really helped me get through the tough season that followed my younger brother’s untimely and unexpected death, and writing a few songs helped to express the cries of my heart for God’s presence and grace to really reveal themselves strong to myself and my family.
With art, I painted one painting — so yes, it was only one, but it also was the first time I have ever succeeded in setting aside the time to get out an easel, canvas, and paints just for me to sit and attempt to paint something on my own.
With cooking and cleaning, I feel like I’ve been catching up on lost time in just this current month — hiring my friend’s son to teach me and the girls how to bake macarons (3 weeks ago) and pretzels (last week), and then discovering my Norwex cloths, dusters, mops and laundry detergent (and even signing up as a rep!).
Last year was definitely one of those whirlwind so-many-things-happened-big-and-small-happy-and-tragically-sad kinds of years (other big highlights not on my resolution list because they had already “started” include: growing closer to my family, building deeper friendships within my community, developing and teaching an “Intro to Christianity” class at my Church, purchasing and renovating our first Investment House, taking on my first weekly counselling client) — but it wasn’t a “burden” or as “overwhelming” as even simple things like getting out of bed and having to eat used to feel when I didn’t know how to be and protect my “happy” in my day-to-day life.
In conclusion, if 35 was the first birthday where I could finally say I was really glad to be alive (“35 and Happy to be Alive” I think was my cheesy motto I was sharing last year to express the significance of that milestone for myself), then for this year, I am thinking about:
“36 and time to get down to business” or
“36 and a year of examining the sticks” (that I have placed in this seemingly random pile in front of me during this past year)
I think this year ahead will be one of looking back on all the things I got to and/or pushed myself to “try” last year, and starting to pick and choose things I really want to keep trying at or to try again –which things to continue investing time and effort in so I can grow and/or become more refined at, all in light of my time and energy limitations which I am also growing increasingly aware of as I continue growing older.
Hopefully I can start to noticeably refine and improve my writing, now that it isn’t such a stretch for me to even envision myself writing at all, nevermind online (which really was the case not that long ago). I would really like to start pushing myself to make my writing (and any teaching) “count” more — not so much in terms of popularity, but in terms of having some kind of significant impact on one or more people…hopefully this means more writing on things like depression and suicide, or anxiety, and combatting the power or hold these have on way too many lives these days…and on relationships?
I want to really try to figure out how to build up my new business to hopefully at least cover its costs so that I can spread the message and possibility of “cleaning with water” in a financially sustainable way (profitable of course would be better cause then it could become a feasible work-from-home way to supplement income that I could recommend and model to others?), all the while also continuing to grow in my own formation of better house-keeping habits for myself and my children.
I also have thoughts of applying to school again (for a surprisingly affordable, local and part-time Masters of Counseling program), and possibly making another go at this home renovation thing…maybe write one more song (or write one with my daughter)?
And, of course, I want to continue growing personally, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally…
May this goal — of continually growing and being care-ful to attend to my needs and heart all along the way so that I continue to remember “I will always be more valued for who I am, not what I do,” no matter which way life may go as the year actually unfolds and plays out, and to the priority of relationships above accomplishments (accomplishments are made meaningful by their impact on our relationships)– be like a base lifeline I am able to return to daily, constantly…always!