As I’ve been reflecting on my life and testimony and the things I feel like God has been teaching me over the years, this thought has been especially pressing on my heart for the past couple of months:
We don’t need extraordinary things to be happy, and we can have countless extraordinary things (accomplishments, experiences, possessions) and yet never truly be happy.
We really need to master, as a culture, the art of appreciating, enjoying and making the most of all the simple, ordinary things that comprise “life.”
Ordinary in no way means insignificant….
But in fact, mastering and maintaining well the basics of life is the very foundation we all need — as human beings who have all been created with human bodies and human hearts across the board, regardless of the size of our bank accounts — for moving forward and upward in any way, without the risk of over-stretching, over-burdening and over-straining our hearts and souls and our most important relationships…
God gave me a picture once of my life as a tower that I was anxiously striving to build up, higher and higher, because that was the sort of thing I thought we were simply supposed to do, what we should do with our lives and whatever time and energy and abilities God gave us.
But as the tower reached a certain point in height, it started to lean, and then tilt, with greater and greater risk of toppling over. And really, it wasn’t all that high, perhaps because I hadn’t had the strongest of childhoods, or my energy levels simply weren’t what they perhaps might have been (or whatever other lament I had of my own shortcomings being the reason I may never be able to be all I felt I had to be before I deserved to rest…)
God then told me how, if invited to assist, He would come and put one Hand up against the failing tower to keep it from toppling, and then He would help me “live” a slightly different way. I did, and He came…
He then placed His other Hand up to the tip top of the tower where I happened to be hanging on (because that was where I was “striving” and “working” and “building”), inviting me to climb into the palm of His Hand so He could safely bring me back to the ground. There, after I had a chance to rest for a while and catch my breath, He began leading me around the foundation of my tower’s base, showing me where there were holes that had never been filled, as will as cracks that were newly forming under the strain of a tower that was simply being built too high for the state and size of the foundation that was “my” building.
He assured me there was no need to rush. And also that there was no need to be afraid or to feel ashamed, because there was no hole He couldn’t help me fill, and no cracks He didn’t know how to seal– and in the process making it all into some beautiful work of art that He had envisioned since the beginning of time, and looked forward to completing with me.
He also explained that my foundation was actually meant to be a bigger one. It would take more time, of course, but if I was willing to be patient and trust in His timing, He assured me that in His expert opinion, it would be well worth the wait.
I believed that what He was offering could/would potentially change the trajectory of my life, of how I felt about my life, and the world… Together, we would rebuild a foundation that could actually truly fill me and satisfy me, that would strengthen and make my inner sense of well-being and peace and joy unshakable (this, in stark contrast to the depression and anxiety that had haunted my life so much up to that point).
Yes, there was the matter of what would feel very much to me at many points in time as lost time, of being nothing in worldly definitions whereas if I could just grin and bear it a little longer and stay focused and determined on building “up” I could have more titles on my resume and $ in my bank account (even if at the cost of “me”)…of having to face all the parts of me that were still insecure and really didn’t feel lovable and valuable just for being me, without a list of approved accomplishments to back up my worth…
But I realized that if I could just let go of all those things that really at the end of the day didn’t really serve me (or the core of me) very much in any real, lasting way, and let God help me build the foundation He thought best, then even if the tower was never built up higher because say I ran out of time, or, one day for whatever reason a time came for parts of it to be knocked over or even purposely dissembled and taken down– I would still always be forever okay :).
And my foundation, if/when rebuilt in this way, could become a strong, safe place for others (especially my kids) to look to and stand upon and find a bit of rest or peace or inspiration to trust in God’s ability and heart to do the same for them, should they ever start to feel like their worlds or hearts were starting to topple over…